Good news! I'm running my laptop on eco-mode. And I have also decided to revise earlier blog posts. Another word with the squiggly red underline... But if I write it like ''blog-posts''- no red underlining! How about that?
In English you can pretty much make up any expression you like. It's legal as long as it has one of these tiny-lines between them. Except if the word is ''under-lining''. This one is not correct unless written in one word. But eco-mode is not; ''eco'' being the guilty one. You don't exist ''eco''! That's why you get all these red underlings. Go ahead, try it for yourselves, just open a word document and type ''eco''. Poor ''eco''! Used so much these days, yet non-existent in OpenOffice.org Writer!
'DEPRESSED UN-EXISTING WORD LEAVES LINGUISTS IN SHOCK AFTER COMMITTING SUICIDE'
The Mail on Weekdays.
'BY-STANDERS APPALLED TO SEE DISILLUSIONED DENOMINATION THROW ITSELF UNDER TRAIN'
The Watcher on Thursdays
'ALPHABET IN TEARS AS TROUBLED SHORT WORD IS CRUSHED BY TUBE'
The Roughly Times
'TYPISTS SHED TEAR AT LITERARY FUNERAL'
The Polish-speaking Door Supervisor with S.I.A. Badge
What do you think? Is that tube-newspaper material or what? ''Because I'd like to get you, on a slow boat to China, aaaaall to myself-alone...''- piano solo.
Legendary Big Bands, on vinyl baby! The record also features a piece used in Tom&Jerry. I love Tom&Jerry! Who doesn't? You know, I think I always liked Tom&Jerry because of the music. The cat and mouse play plus the subliminal sex messages are in this case an added bonus1. Every move and every wink. Every shake or spring. Everything made by a distinct instrument. And strange enough, I never though of smashing some cat's tail in the door or to blow up a mouse hole with dynamite. Hey this could catch on : 'Why you being such a mouse-hole bruv?'
But back to the music. I got one for you:
'' I got a girl who's always late, any time we have a date
But I love her,
I'm gonna ask her,
Is you is or is you ain't ma babeee?
Shmaff! Iron in the face!''
Man, if you don't know the original it sounds so fucked up when you interior-monologue it! Let's make things easier. Check it out herr.
Open link in new tab? Or maybe... you had to click 'back' didn't you? I like the way you watched it right therr, right therr! Here's another completely legitimate word that's gonna end up in the 'loids! Along with ''gonna' and ''loids''. Tabloids mouse-holes! It was short for tabloids. I remember we had a ''journalism'' class in high-school. If only I had paid attention... maybe by now I would have presented a thorough argument for revising my blog posts.
But who gives a pluck! Back to the music. The lovely lovely music that caught my attention during journalism class. It sang so nice to my nostrils. It made me want to attempt a Tom&Jerry like serenade. I latter decided against it. The darlin' lived at the fourth floor, thus the chance of geting hit by the odd jar2 was proportionally higher than X. Where X is P= I+M (where I=level of impressiveness and M= moisture value) and P is very important at that age. I too wish for a more clever maths pawn but that's all you get for befriending the maths teacher. Fuckin clown, how I loathe thee! What was that about? About a girl with dark hair and I ain't sayin' no moe'!
Because maybe the other girl with dark hair will read this. And then, what about the one with the really dark hair... Not to mention the blond. There's a blonde? No, no, that one I just made up. Could be a blonde... Any blondes out there wanna' swing a bit? Baby, baby, I'm joking, really! Put the phone down.! The rest of you, shush and txt me when you read this!
A desperate attempt by a desperate man coming to terms:
''They are not 19 no more bruv', they've had a few and gotten nastier!''
'' Oh come on, that's not true. I'm still cool with the kids, I still got some hang time valid out there!''
''Keep saying that to yourself bruvsky! Truth is, you went from top priority to passive Yahoo! Messenger icon. The best case scenario for you these days is a 'hi' and a role of expendable cyber-conforteur! Which got you in trouble in the first place if I remember well..''
''What do you mean?''
'' All those years spent on-line, smoothing in conversations and being there for them... And what did that led to? Wasted time and the occasional STD3!''
'' Nah man, if you were there you would have understood, it's like conversation art man, you can't just asl pls people all the time. It takes a certain literary je ne sais qua-ish approach, you dig?''
''Dig? What is that?''
''Look dude, I enjoyed it, no looking back. But I do know what you mean, it is a bit rough...One day they're undressing on their web-cam then next thing you know, they won't even let you have a picture, or mention their name on your blog...Cold world bruv, cold world! These chicks are getting fitter and I'm dripping into has-been-ness. Sweet sweet has-been-ness...''
''On the bright side, you've come a long way. There's still some pussies you can give a licking to ! (there actually use this saying, look it up) Not to mention the ones you'll learn to lick from now on...''
'' You know what? You're right, why bother? Cheers bruv, I needed that!''
''That's alright. I'm always here for you, you know that, right? Now stop talking to yourself before they get you on the pills!''
-Yeah I'm not sure who was talking either, OK?-
Back to the music! This record has been spinning for a while and while, I'd love to dig deep into the jazziness of adult entertainment from the late 40's, I just remembered another reason why I cared so little for the Romanian class. Because, to be honest, I enjoyed the journalism class. But by the time journalism class came to be I was already beefing with the high-school establishment for their campaign of censorship (article didn't get published in school magazine). My style was considered a bit... too enthusiastic. But fuck me, every time I try to pin one on the bastards I remember you can't bribe people and then turn around and accuse them of being crooked. So I have to rest my case. Let's hope nobody steals it. Deception, distraction or deflection?
So yeah ,this is one of the reasons I write these lines. I said 'fuck'em' long a go and nowadays I'm writing for my self and...oh how I learned to be careful what I wish for! Once I wished all my mates were here with me. Now I'm 100 quid down, don't trust people too much and its been tearing me apart! I was just about to wish for peeps to give me their opinions straight on but then again, why aggravate? Fuck what you think, friend!
So yeah, now it looks as if I write these crappy lines to avenge a hurt soul. Fuck! Yes ,quite the few fucks tonight, aren't they? This is another good reason why I write here. I can write whatever the fuck I want, ahahahahahahahaha! And the prospect of someone reading it after I'll smartly advertise the link on my Yahoo! Messenger window, is as exciting as watching porn for the sole purpose of being caught!
Here's a poem I wrote to celebrate my latest approach to blogging and to lost conclusions:
Just like that, just jars and fuck.
No more whoring for the sake of selling a bread.
3 ''so'' in a row and 3 lines of coke.
No, I'm lying again, I don't do coke.
Maybe one day, who knows?Did I mention porn?
What I'm getting at is, I love writing this stuff,
And will probably continue to do so on various subjects.
Stay tuned for more on Christmas, job hunting and pussy-licking!
1 If you look back on your favorite episodes-obviously with extensive internet porn experience- you might notice the slight sexual hints relatively easy. But as a kid you don't feel much like fucking so it's just a tiny mouse having a blast with a pussy, he he he. Did I ever tell you about my band? ''The Pussy-Munchers' Crew''. Album soon to hit Ay!Tunes®
2The jar- a popular disturbance-ending device, would have contained pickles or the like and would be thrown out of the window in the direction of the disturbance. A note of extra care and class dictates that the jar should be thrown with the original liquid still inside, thus creating a surprise upon impact. A common practice in the Precista area, used widely for situations of kids being too noisy by making the most of improvised football courts. The versatility of the jar allows the thrower to remain undisclosed making it both effective and undetectable.
3Ta-na-Ta-na-Ta-na-na-na-na-no hands man, look no hands,no hands, it's like the morning work out!
